A Guy's Heartache

Sometimes in life,you will not always get what you want,what you want might be possible to acquire but is it right for you to have it is just another question in hand.Is it right to follow your heart and just go after that dream of yours,to follow your selfishness or is it right to think rationally and to abandon whatever dream you have in mind just for the better.I would not know because I had not experience such a situation in my life before.Is is that hard to let go?Is it that difficult to put my selfishness aside just for the better for you and me?I do not know.Is it?

I always dreamed of being a runner..oh how I ran,how i impress people with my speed,how people voice out their praises to me,dreamed of being like me.Its just a dream anyway.My friends could run.Yes they could.They are even smart,they lead clubs,organisations and prefectorial board.Yes,yes these was what I always wanted.Till now.It started last Thursday when I went out with four of friends to watch a movie.They have capabilities that I will not deny and oh how I wanted them too.But on that day,I had so much fun laughing,talking,crapping up stupid jokes together with them and I realised that capabilities do not matter as how much I wanted to be with them everyday of my life.Just talking with them makes me happy.Happiness I realised was what I lacked in my life.It doesn't matter if they are talented or capable anymore,I like them for who they are,they are my friends and I know it.I do not mind if they hate me in their hearts because I know I do not hate them but I actually like them being around me.What matters is they treat me well,they treat me as a friend of their own,they make me feel special about myself even though I am not.After 4 years,..so very long for me to realise that it is important to spend time with them,to go out,to fool around,to play sports together but now there is only 1 year left to go.I would very much like to share my time with them for this very last year and I really really hope that they feel the same way too.