Church:Somewhere To Convey Your Feelings

What is a church?Why do we go?Well,Church is a place to worship God and ask for forgiveness. Nevertheless,many people especially youths choose to go church not for the purpose of worshipping god but to socialise or look for pretty chicks..Its actually nothing wrong because I believe the house of God is able to change who we are and bring out the holiness in out hearts.. I had jus finished a youth service tonight and during the service,I felt guilty because I know that I have commited a lot of sins and I dont deserve to be here..Guilt is like a burden that clamps your feet so that your life will always be the same,unmoving,unchanging and full of sorrow and pain.. That is why we have to ask for forgiveness in church and be free of your guilt,to continue to move on in a new lease of life..But what problems I encounter is the urge to do something...when I know its wrong to do so..Ill still do it no matter what..and that sucks...I wouldnt want to purposely do something that is wrong or may hurt someone but I cant seem to control myself..the temptation,the urge really frustrates me..everytime Ill ask for forgiveness and promise not to do it again..it seems impossible for me to keep my promise..what I say I always meant it at that specific time and place only but when its all over,I tend to go back to my usual self..I say I want to change but it never seems to happen..As Pastor Rudy prayed for us,I was hoping to feel something,to feel lightheaded,worries all washed away into the river of righteousness and forgetfullness but I dont think Ive achieved that...mayb I should continue to attend youth services more regularly and trust in the lord more..Lord is my Saviour and Ill always believe so forever

How time flies

Its already Sunday after a week break..time really flies..i havent even done anything and its already the end of the week..how unfair life sometimes can be..Ive planned to study,finish of with my debate research,interact research and mayb start on my folio but I havent even completed any of my plans.When I look back in time,I wonder what I had actually done..what I can remember is I slept like a pig ,went out with my friends on Friday to watch a movie..and thats it..how can 1 week, 7 days,168 hours pass so fast??...then in a matter of time,Ill be studying in college,university and then working..the way my brother describe his working life..it really freaks me out..but i know that one day i have to go through it no matter what..But the most most difficult part is to lose your friend..its realli heartbreaking and i think i cant bare losing them when the time comes...this sucks why must time pass so fast?..why must we worry?..i like my life now enjoying with my friends though i hate school and teachers and studying...well eventually all of that is easy once I start working or elsewhere in college..The best solution now is to study hard,enjoy life with your friends at this age and live life to the max without worries..><..hope don flunk studies can ady

Parasites in Life

The rest of your life is a long time whether you know it or not its being shaped right now..You can live it on fate or make a choice..Some people think their life is so perfect but some on the other hand think life is unfair and brutal..well..both is certainly right..but in my opinion what determines your life is who you mix with..your friends...In my case Im surrounded with masked hidden friends (most of them not including the ones I trust)..that means you cant trust them because they only put up an act in front of you but behind your back they stab you with a knife.. I have friends who are parasites..hanging on to me just to suck all of my knowledge and leave me to die when Im all done..what is the solution??..I put an act in front of them..you cant do anything more..can u?.. sometimes i feel so angry that I would want to kill them there and then..but murdering is not permitted in my country..too bad...maybe they would be sucessful but it wouldnt serve any purpose because you wouldnt have any friends..if this is the life you choose then continue to become a parasite..I don care..Then I jus pray that you'll be lonely and rot in hell...If people understand the true meaning of friendship then maybe hatred among people wouldnt be so devastating...In any case..always be cautious because you never know whats going to hit you..even your best friend can turn his back on you... To me friendship is very important..I dare not hurt them or lie to them in any way..parasites exceptional... Why they are call parasites again??..because they wont even let go of whoever they cling on..they only want to cover their own backside..and push the blame on others when their in trouble..they throw you away when your no longer useful or when your down...then tend to take control of you and step your head when you give them the opportunity...Therefore..I hope that people would not think lifes so perfect..there would always be up's and down's...Parasites,i hope that you would realise that life isnt about perfection..its about friendship,love and trust

Debate Crisis

I'm damn pissed off not only because of my dumb school but also wif the damn lazy,annoying and egoistic teachers who think they know everything..Im in the debate team in my school and my english teacher{whose-name-cannot-me-named}..is an egoistic bi***..seems to think so highly of herself that her stupidity brought the downfall of our debate team..Yes,I admit Im not a professional debater whatsoever and Im a freshmen in this field but they do not deserve to kick me out of the team without telling me in the face...Ive wasted one whole day preparing for this and tonight I got news that she wants a Malay in her team..and cut me off the team..Im upset because even my fren cant even tell me straightforward..this is because he doesnt want me to be better than him and therefore I hope that he will read this so that he knows that I know what hes up to ..she says that"oh you can come for exposure bla bla bla..tommorow"...why the hell would I want to do that as tomorrow is a public holiday..and why the hell would I want to go if Im no longer needed!!!...It seems strangely dumb that the debate teacher would still want me to come...I hope that the school debate team would continue to fail until the teacher finally realise that they must learn to give in and listen to us...acting egoistic would only make people hate you and in conclusion...f*** her...

Life Goes On

Its already March..Chinese New Year is over and so is my school 100 years celebration..I really miss good old times wif my cousins and frens...its been a great year though..everything went the way it was planned..my cous,eric came back from Norway safely..we had a great time..in the club,gym,basketball..but unfortunately on the third day of new year..I had a nasty fall...my elbow had 6 stitches,the injuries on legs,hands,hips luckily are only superficial wounds..the only thing I did after the fall was pray..this was the 1st time i got admitted in the hospital and i feel great..though I was kinda shocked after the fall..cause ive never been in an accident..or been brought in an ambulance..it was a great experience though..but something that i really hoped would actually happen became reality..there was this girl..who ive been eyeing for quite some time..and i think that i really do like her..but as usual i do not have the guts to confront her whatsoever..let me tell you about myself..ive been studying all my life...never been able to socialise with anyone..and rarely been out with my frens..im always timid of doing things and afraid of people criticising me ive got a few friends since standard 1 and I take them as my best frens..but i don think they on the other hand take me as their best friend..its really pathetic to be me..i cant even talk properly in front of people and im in the debate team and i am unable to click with my frens tat make them hate me..i always think highly of myself and proud of my capability but i finally realised that life is more tough than what you think it is...and im not goodlooking or anything..that is why i lose confidence when talking to people..well continuing on..this girl sms me when i was in hospital..and i was overjoyed when she said that she was sad i was admitted..but she actually already has a boyfriend..you may think its too early for people at my age to get into a relationship but i really hope that there is someone im comfortable with who can actually listen to me...