What I would do if I got 10 wishes

1. Be hot
2. Have a loving family
3. Possess all the wealth in the world
4. Have a girlfriend
5. Be normal
6. Be sociable
7. Demolish all backstabbers and parasites
8. Remain young forever
9. Great times with my buddies
10. And lastly,I wish everyone would be happy including myself
    

My Father

Well,another argument just broke out and finally its over I hope..My father and I were never on the same page and Im sick and tired of this...when I was in primary my father told me 'I hate you..you are not like my second son'..how does this feel?..It hurts of course your own father saying this kind of words.From that day onwards,I never liked him..maybe sometimes I feel oh,he's still my father,I must try to love and respect him..but I cant seem to forget what he already apologised for..'The word hate' is still deep in my brain till now and I cant seem to ever forget it no matter how good he treats me...He's my father..my father....but why don't I love him?..Why do I hate him so much?..even how hard I try to at least talk to him..I certainly cant..If I do,most of the times an argument is all I get..I love it when he's is not in the house,I like it when he's not eating lunch,breakfast,dinner with me..I love it when he's not in my life at all...Most of the time,when he's in bad mood or anything,the 1st person he will vent out his anger is either me or my mother..but its most of the time my mother...And I cant stand just to watch my father shouting at her for nothing wrong she has done..and most of the time I side my Mum..cause I cant stand to watch her get hurt.
I hate it when he talk about religion..today my mum when to a food fair organised by a church and she bought food back for luncj..and my father said Im not eating because its from the church..wtf does that mean..If you dont want to eat just dont eat it..why need to talk about the church..ridiculuous.zzz

Being Top

Being top maybe a great thing for one but it can be suffering and boring at the same time..Well,Im top in my school academically..I like the times where I get known by teachers and friends,praised,exemplified,given extra attention^^..these all seems what everyone dreamt of maybe not everyone(only attention seekers or people who like being in the limelight)..but well it isnt a bed of roses..Why?..This is because people tend to expect more and more for you and it takes great effort,time and commitment in order to satisfy everyone...this is stressing as to stay in top form tends to pressurize me..it makes me wonder what if I fail to perform..I not only disappoint myself and most importantly my parents but people would not think highly of me anymore..Truthfully I cant face failure...failure kills me and my reputation..Once top it must continue that is my philosophy..sometimes I feel so tired,lazy just want to forget about the complicated and sophisticated equations,words,history,chemicals...but at the same time I want to be the best and always the best...lets not talk about academic..In whatever I do,I must do and be the best as in debate,robotics,quizes and more..Being 1st in the form,I nust equip myself with plenty of knowledge because as Ive said people expect you/me to answer everything..That is ridiculous though...being 1st doesnt mean or prove Im increadibly smart like Albert Einstein or some other freaking genius....Im actually dumb but people think Im smart...you ask me wheres Bigapple or whatever street in malaysia..I wouldnt even know where the hell it is..I love attention but not in the sense that getting attention for nothing,getting attention for being 1st but yet inside is hollow,it doesnt bring any satisfaction whatsoever..its just a fake/pretend.. Im working on being as intelligent as possible but it takes more than jus talking and writting in this blog..it takes determination,diligence,willingness and not only brag and brag acting like a hypocrite but doesnt do anything...(sounds like me)..swt..

Who am I?

The question we all ask ourselves is quite common I believe..why am I not better than he is?.Why cant I be like him?.Why must I be like this?...when I look at myself in the mirror, I often feel imperfect,ugly and weak...Ill start comparing to my friends..Look at me what am I,who am I?. Well what we dont realise is we tend to look more to our weaknesses than to our strength and this causes us to lose our sight of life...to lose ourselves,to pretend to be somebody we never was.. I was and I am still cheating myself and I know how it feels..to pretend to be somebody you never knew,to hide yourself in your own body is just to suffering....what we all want is to be famed,popular and wanted...to be accepted,I often do the things that are wrong..although I know that it isnt right,I would still do it to impress my fellow peers..If i don't then Ill never be wanted,Ill be unknown like a tiny organism nobody knows exist...What Im doing is actually a bad example so I hope people would not follow the way I live..What Im trying to say is to be true to yourself is the best thing you can ever have,dont care what people thinks of you or what you think of yourself..just think what GOD really wants of you..pray,listen,confess and let HIM lead the way of our lives..the choice we make or what other people make for us is not always right or maybe not at all...so its time to believe that GOD really exist and he is up there watching over us..waiting patiently for us to listen and speak..Dont pretend,be true although it maybe not be what you wish..pretending and changing the way we are would be regrettable in future..maybe you dont see it now,tomorrow or the years to come but believe me its certainly true that youll regret.......losing the person you loved is what hurts the most