My Father

Well,another argument just broke out and finally its over I hope..My father and I were never on the same page and Im sick and tired of this...when I was in primary my father told me 'I hate you..you are not like my second son'..how does this feel?..It hurts of course your own father saying this kind of words.From that day onwards,I never liked him..maybe sometimes I feel oh,he's still my father,I must try to love and respect him..but I cant seem to forget what he already apologised for..'The word hate' is still deep in my brain till now and I cant seem to ever forget it no matter how good he treats me...He's my father..my father....but why don't I love him?..Why do I hate him so much?..even how hard I try to at least talk to him..I certainly cant..If I do,most of the times an argument is all I get..I love it when he's is not in the house,I like it when he's not eating lunch,breakfast,dinner with me..I love it when he's not in my life at all...Most of the time,when he's in bad mood or anything,the 1st person he will vent out his anger is either me or my mother..but its most of the time my mother...And I cant stand just to watch my father shouting at her for nothing wrong she has done..and most of the time I side my Mum..cause I cant stand to watch her get hurt.
I hate it when he talk about religion..today my mum when to a food fair organised by a church and she bought food back for luncj..and my father said Im not eating because its from the church..wtf does that mean..If you dont want to eat just dont eat it..why need to talk about the church..ridiculuous.zzz